Examples of Well-Written Achievements

Describing Achievements Effectively

Describing achievements is harder than it looks. To some, the entire effort is unseemly and immodest; to others it is an invitation to exaggerate. Neither undue modesty nor boasting are helpful.

The best achievements are specific, jargon-free, with quantified outcomes. Here are some examples.

Construction Project Management

Weaker: Managed complex construction projects involving numerous contractors and strict time requirements.

Stronger: Managed 17 contractors and completed construction of a 50,000 square foot elementary school two weeks early and 5% under budget. 

Web Site Developer

Weaker: Developed deep familiarity with Windows XP, Vista, Microsoft Project, Dreamweaver, ColdFusion, SQL Server, and Excel to manage the construction of a large website.

Stronger: Oversaw a 10 person team and the construction of a 100 page website. Met budget and beat 120 day deadline despite loss of 2 key developers and specifications that changed weekly. In 2009, the site attracted 200,000 monthly visitors and generated 4,000 sales leads per month.

Accounts Receivables Clerk
Weaker: Responsible for large account receivables for 200 person property and casualty insurance company.

Stronger: Part of four person team that reduced the cost of receivables processing by 30% while reducing outstanding receivables by two days between 2005-2007..

Nonprofit fundraiser

Weaker: Raised $700,000 of cash and in-kind contributions for soup kitchens and homeless shelters between 2005-2008.

Stronger: Raised$150,000 in cash through outreach to five churches from 2005-2008. Raised nearly $550,000 of food in cooperation with local farmer's markets and produce wholesalers. (Note that these might usefully be listed as separate contributions).

Restaurant Manager
Weaker: In charge of hiring waiters, cooks, busboys, and other kitchen staff.   

Stronger: Recruitedand trained 45 people from 2004-2006. Maintained an 85% retention rate,which was more than twice the food service industry average.

Sales Representative 

Weaker: Used TV infomercials to grow sales of innovative steak knives by 40% over three years.

Stronger: By focusing relentlessly on product quality, including endorsements by 5 celebrity chefs, and tailoring our message to late night impulse buyers, we increased steak knife sales by 40% over from 1994-1997. Love to show you a set... 

Office Manager

Weaker: Handled health insurance and workers compensation matters.   

Stronger: Negotiated eight insurance contracts on time and within budget while expanding eyecare coverage. Held workers compensation premium increases to 3% per year while average increase was 6-8% annually.

Biotech research assistant

Weaker: Frequent contributor to company website.   

Stronger: Published five articles on company website on new approaches to Canine Parovirus during 2007. Distilled these into article in Veterinary Biotech Monthly, a respected industry publication.